When I started this program I found out for the first time that I wasn’t the only person that could sometimes be daunted by the idea of getting out of bed and starting the day. Reading that in Og’s first scroll was a relief and an eye-opener.
Unlike some of my fellow travellers it me a long time to finally find serenity and when I did, I assumed serenity was here to stay. When that feeling of unrest and fear crept back into the pit of my stomach I was shocked. And instead of doing something with it, I got completely overwhelmed and even paralysed.
When my city speaks to me
I was back in my new home in Barcelona and had great plans to get back on the wagon and dig in even deeper than I had before. But even the smallest things felt like a mountain to climb. The past weeks I have done a great deal of sleeping and feeling tired.
During my daily bike ride through the city I chanced upon a busstop ad for keeping youngsters off drugs. It read ‘Commit to yourself, if you say you’re going to do something, (than) do it’
And I was so happy to read this. It was a reminder that I needed to dig in and regain the pride I had felt for weeks.
Once again I had the feeling of being the battlefield of my old blueprint and my new one, for a moment it looked as though old subby was winning. That was when I received a reminder (sorry Mark) for my survey and PIF.
When I wanted to pay, my creditcard bounced.
I felt panic at the thought of not continuing with the program, never mind being cut out of it. I sent an email but received no answer and I swear my old blueprint spoke to me. It said, this is probably a sign that you should be quitting.
I did something I should have done much sooner (I know!) I asked in the alliance area for insights or advice about other payment modes. When one beautiful soul, a fellow traveller reach out for help.
She described her helping me with my PIF as a small blessing.
I must admit I struggled with this thought at first. Now I can only say, I am grateful and proud to be in the same (virtual) room as her. I am even more determined to give this journey my all and to go above and beyond in helping others.
If you are reading this, know that you are a great blessing to me. I will make you and myself proud!
This week my virtue will be humility, I already feel humbled today.
Feeling #Blessed, loved and grateful