I have always considered myself to be a happy bunny. A non-opinionated one, at that. I have always profiled myself as someone embracing change.
Being a student of the Master Key System has taught me that I really wasn’t.
Every day is a school day
It turns out I have a great deal of opinions. So many that trying not to express these opinions, my conversations for the past weeks have been slightly awkward. I have to learn how to converse without forcing my unsolicited advice on people. I have to learn not to acknowledge by relating my interlocutor’s story, which is just big words for giving my opinion on how I would deal with a situation.
Trying to have exclusively positive thoughts is something I expected to be easy ’cause I was already happily skipping through life, right? It turns out, sometimes, for no reasons at all, really dark thoughts invade my head and spread to my solar plexus. When I say for no reason I mean that I sometimes envision a stressful confrontation with either people whom I’ve never met before of people who have always been nice to me.
Why, then, was I so deluded and thought of myself as a happy camper? I did it all with a smile. I would be saying really depressing shizzle but have a wide grin on my face.
So I have learnt a thing or two about myself. And as we say where I come from: I have met myself a few times. Meaning I have been struck by the fallacy of my preconceived notion on myself. On several occasions.
Change is upon us – I really do believe
For a very long time believing is a word I associated with being gullible, ignorant and not taking responsibility of one’s actions.
Now that I write this down, I see how silly and conceited that sounds.
Since I have started this journey, opportunities have arisen, fresh ideas have shown themselves to me, I even feel people’s attitude and actions towards me have changed. Some of my own fears have dissipated and have been replaced by getting on with stuff, which is a lot.
This doesn’t mean that I am there, yet. It’s still a work in progress and some days are more challenging than others. Today I even considered quitting, for the first time since I started.
But I am still here and going strong. And I’l be shaking my curls whenever a a dark thought enters my perimeter and I chase it away with happy thoughts.
I do believe that any thought I persistently hold will eventually manifest itself, I am changing my thoughts, because I truly do believe that very pleasant chick in her own masía is my soon-to-be me.