Week five – Soul-searching encounters of the umpteenth kind – MKMMA

Volcans, Klingons and Cylons

I am not an alien, legal or otherwise! What I am today is recovering from the come-down of the high of week four. I know… it’s week five, though.

So last week I was radiant with confidence, I was not quitting -why should I? I was making head way and felt empowered and strong. And maybe a tiny bit cocky. I was juggling like the best of them and I knew it.

I started seeing results, left, right and centre. Things are finally coming together, or so I thought.

Week five, not so much. I was struggling and limping behind and really feeling inadequate.   I always deliver, a deadline is just that, the moment I can no longer postpone. I wouldn’t dream of handing in my work late. What is wrong with me?

Which in turn had an even more damaging (slight drama) effect on my general mood.

Usually when I read Og, I effortlessly felt warm and fuzzy feelings. This week I had to fight off the anxiety while reading ‘and I am happier than I ever dreamed it possible.’

Dorian Gray

It’s absurd to be so terrified or paralysed by going in the direction one’s envisioned for such a long time. I really see how my subzzz -as I like to call her- undermines me into thinking I truly am an imposter.

Even Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde’s character had the luck to actually and actively believe he was bettering his ways. Only when he went into his secret closet to look at his picture did he see the wretched reflection of his inner self.

Not that I think I am a wretched person, I don’t even really believe I am a pretender (weirdo, check!).

The Tribe takes its tribute

Since last week I got to connect to my tribe and our tribe chief Charlotte who is ah-mazing! This is why I thought it would be a great idea to (also) have occasional private webinars per tribe, they would be more interactive, even though possibly more demanding.

Some of you may think I’m daft, but I actually like that they are demanding. I would be bored if they didn’t and let’s face it, I was getting really good at that.

A shout out to all the people who have put a heart under my belt als we say in Dutch.

BTW that’s a good thing. 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Week five – Soul-searching encounters of the umpteenth kind – MKMMA

  1. OMGosh, I can so identify with your post this week. Glad I’m not alone. Was feeling ahead of the game week four, not so much week 5. Thank-you for sharing

    Like

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